more stuff

So i really wish we could just be friends again. I miss you. I understand why you're mad, but to honest I don't feel like I deserve it. Every tells me I shouldn't confront you about it but I feel like I have to. I don't know if it will make things better or worse. I really miss you. I hate how this is making other people feel also. It makes things awkward for everyone and people feel they have to chose a side. But that's the last thing I would ever want to happen. I like being a big happy group. I really wish you would just tell me what you wanted me to do, aside from that. Well I'm at a loss.

It's kind of funny how holding onto a grudge, like a typical girl would do, is helping me get over you. Sometimes I wonder if I really am in love with you or not? Because can you love someone and have strong feelings for someone else too? I'd love to hate you. But I just can't say no to you. I would do anything for you...ANYTHING. I was actually talking about this to a few friends earlier today. It's hard to say no to the person you love. Even if they aren't good for you. What sucks is I already have a hard time saying no in general. OR standing up for myself in general and not letting myself be taken advantage of. But it's soo hard to tell if you are using me or you genuinely care about me. But after what happened a few days ago..I'm sure you don't really care about me. It's all an act. Well Coke Venodr thinks I have a nice butt. Guess i'll just have to hope that leads to something good. haha

well goodnight.

I think you're the only one who reads this Krissy haha..so goodnight to you :)